Wednesday, February 25, 2015


I recently decided that I needed to learn to crochet. It seemed to go hand-in-hand with my newly acquired knitting skillz. It was a lot harder for me to learn than knitting, for some reason. There was a lot more instances of "you know what, maybe fuck this" with a crochet hook in my hand than I have experienced thus far with knitting. But I think I am getting the hang of it.

I started with just a sampler. Basically trying to follow instructions and not tie my hands together.

Once I had a single stitch under my belt, I decided I was a badass and started a scarf. I didn't get far.

Then I abandoned patterns, as I am prone to do, and made myself a wee phone case. It actually works fairly well...except I don't use it. Ever. But It was good practice for the multitude of pot handle covers I made immediately after this.

I then continued to fuck around for a while, testing out how to do trims and ruffles. I like the rufflies. Not only are they pretty, they are surprisingly easy.

By this point, I figured I had a decent grasp on the concept of "single crochet" and undertook a pattern for making a very basic dishcloth. My first go was...awkward. I lost stitches in one row and found them again a few rows up. Basically, it looks like a waving flag. It works, but I don't have a burning need to photograph it. My second attempt was better. It actually stayed rectangular!

I've now made 3 or these. Each one is less derpy than its predecessor. Husband is asking for a towel-length version. We'll see...I've only made one that's even square so far.

I also semi mastered the granny square. Though I think the tutorial I watched had me making the chains a bit too long. I found another that suggested ch1 instead of ch3 in between the dc. (check me out bitches! I know jargon!) I might give that a go. I have a knitting project that I'm putting off because its huge and intimidating, so I definitely need a wee break.

What I learned
Crafty bitches of the internet do not understand what "beginner" means. I learned to crochet an hour ago. Please give me a plainly written pattern, and not a bunch of abbreviations and shorthand. I don't understand that yet. And youtubers: same to you! Slow the fuck down! I've got my hands wrapped in yarn, I haven't found a comfortable way to control my tension, and you're on row 3 already. Slow your roll!

I don't like plastic hooks. Years ago when I first attempted to learn, a friend gave me a plastic hook. This time I bought a set of metal ones at walmart. I prefer the metal, though I haven't tried wood. Now I need some sort of comfort grip business...

Keeping with my "run marathons before you learn to walk" method, I have an itch to make an afghan. That is not smart. I have temporarily convinced myself that I won't do it until I finish one of the two big knitting projects I have open.

Youtube crocheters need to get better cameras and microphones. Also, cuticle oil. Seriously.

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